I Don’t Want to Be a Gospel Singer

My life dream since I listened to my first record as a 6 year old kid was to be a gospel singer. Growing up, my fantasy was to buy a big ol’ bus and hit the road. Up until just this week, it has always remained my hope and dream to be a “gospel singer.”

What changed? Well, I’m so glad that you asked!

Observing all the comments I have read in various and sundry places on the Internet surrounding the marriage of Kathy Crabb has caused me to re-think this foolish dream of mine. Why would I want to subject my family or myself to such scrutiny and criticism? Why would I want people telling me what I should or shouldn’t do and what an awful person I am or whatever the case may be, when they really have no clue about me or my life or my personal walk with Christ, though many people would like to think that they do? I know we all have opinions, and its just human nature to be nosy and want to know everything and voice opinions. But, some people just have no clue where to draw the line.

So many people have appointed themselves the judge of all, when they just need to keep to themselves and keep their own house in order, and get a life. If there is a problem in my life, sure enough…God knows about it and He will take care of business! He doesn’t need everybody else’s thoughts and opinions about the subject. He’s run things since the beginning of time, and I think He knows what He’s doing.

I am not pointing fingers, as I too, have been judgmental in the past when I needed not to be. But, God has taught me some things through the years that have helped me see things differently than I used to.

So, with my thoughts lying on table, I think I’ll just stick mostly to singing at my own church…Lord knows the local church has enough issues to deal with than to go around singing everywhere else!

I Can’t Complain

I’ve had bad days, and I’ve had hills to climb
I’ve had sad days, and often a weary mind
But when I look around, and I think these things all out
All of the good days, out weigh the bad days, I can’t complain

God is so good to me; yes He’s so good to me
More than this world could be, He’s so good to me
His Spirit came to me, and gave me Victory
God is so good to me, I can’t complain

Romans 5:3 tell us that our trials are good for us, and that they help us to learn to endure. I have found over the course of the past year or so, that though trials may seemingly overtake us, God is so good and is teaching us how to trust and lean upon Him. Our reliance is not unto ourselves, but is solely in the Lord. Over the past year or so my family has endured many things…my wife suffered a miscarriage in January of 2005…my wife was laid off in September of 2005, and came to find out she was pregnant. While we were happy at the prospect of having another child, we were trying to figure out how we’d financially take care of an extra child with an unemployed spouse (we need the second income) and wondering who in the world would hire a pregnant woman. In our struggle for answers, my wife had another miscarriage in November. Through it all, we were wondering what the Lord is doing with us. We appreciate the fact that He trusted us enough to give us these tests, but sometimes you honestly feel enough is enough! Though it’s been 5 months since the last miscarriage, we are both still wrestling with the whys. But through it all I have gained a newfound respect for my wife, as I have seen her become a much stronger person, though she may not think so.

Still dealing with the above circumstances among other things over the past year, a song written over 30 years ago continues to come to my mind called, “I Can’t Complain” written by a gentleman named Don Johnson. The second verse of the song says it so well for me…

Sometimes the clouds hang low, and I’d like to see them go
And then I question, “Lord why so much pain”
But He knows what’s best for me, although I cannot see
So I’ll just say “Thank you Lord”, I can’t complain

I don’t know how people who don’t know the Lord go through such adversity. I’m so thankful that I have a God I can call upon and lean on when I don’t know what to do. I have an Advocate with the Father who hears my pleas and feels my pain and continually gives me strength. (I John 2:1)

I don’t know why we have to go through these valleys that seem to come one right after another. I do know we all have our crosses to bear and the Bible tells us that it rains on both the just and the unjust (Matthew 5:45), though sometimes we feel we’re the only ones going through the trials. But I do know it’s through these times, God wants to see us grow stronger in Him and realize that it’s not by our own strength, but it’s through His strength that we get through. After all, it’s part of our continual perfection.

I guess it’s like the old hymn that says, “Some through the water, some through the flood, some through the fire, but all through the blood, some through great sorry, but GOD GIVES A SONG…in the night season and all the day long.” Yes, in our night season, God gives a song. A song of praise and thanksgiving, that He has brought us through yet, another storm, another heartache, another trial. And He loves infinitely more than we will ever fathom in this life, and when we begin to scratch the surface of that love, mercy and grace, we bow with a thankful heart and realize that we really can’t complain much at all.

"I Can’t Complain"
Don Johnson/Centerpoint Music Company/BMI